Love cannot be cured by herbs

I've fallen in love.  It's true.  I've fallen in love with a place.  It is a place with picturesque beaches, breathtaking vistas, and architecture inspired by nine different countries dating back to the 16th century.  Not to mention quaint shops, an amazing used bookstore, great restaurants and great people.  And best of all, it is my new home.

 

It is everything a beach girl, bookworm and history buff could ask for.  We've been anticipating this move for so long that I was begining to feel more annoyed than excited about it.  Ernie's last day in Louisiana kept getting pushed back, but we finally have a set date.  His last day is next Friday, but Lily and I will be leaving Louisiana forever on Monday. 

This week I've been packing up the last few things we have in Louisiana and I'm starting to get very excited.  Lily and I have been living the life of nomads for the past year, bouncing between the West Coast, Gulf Coast and East Coast.  It has been a lot of fun and Lily and I have both been exposed to a lot of new experiences.  I've never been content to stay in the same place for long.  Shakespeare said that Fortune brings in some boats that are not steer'd, but I never want to think that I didn't take full advantage of every opportunity fortune has sent my way.  So I've used every opportunity since moving over here to take advantage of our good fortune.  But as much fun as I've had being a professional traveler over the past year, I'm glad to finally be settling into a permanent place again.  Of course, "permanent" might be a bit of a misnomer, since we have had three "permanent" homes since Lily was born.  But at least as permanent as it gets for our gypsy family. 

As crazy as it sounds, though, what I am most excited about (and I mean, giddy excited) is to finally get my books out of storage.  I have been parted from my books for a year and a half.  That may not seem like a big deal to all of you, but to me it is huge.  I have somewhere between three and four thousand books in my collection.  There are books from my childhood, books from school that I've read countless times and filled ever spare inch of the margins with my notes.  I have everything ranging from history to philosophy to religion to classical literature to silly fluff novels.  This is the longest I've ever been away from my books and I have been pining for them.  Having them on hand to browse is something I've missed, to be sure.  But I've also missed other things.  Like their musty smell or holding a small bit of someone (or many someones) history in my hand.  So in order to get them back - at long last - Lily and I are flying to Arizona next Sunday.

Yep, that's right.  We will be in Arizona.  So any of my Arizona peeps who want to get together for lunch or anything like that, just shoot me a message.  We'll be there for a couple weeks while I get everything together, then I will be driving a huge moving truck cross-country with the last of our things from the west coast.  After that, our east coast move will be official.  I am a little sad, considering I've grown up as a west coast girl.  But I'm also very excited to close that chapter of our lives.

In a grain of sand...

It has been a while since I've had a blog post about my sugar-free (which in practice has turned into a sugar-reduced) diet.  Since I've been looking for new and inventive ways to eliminate sugar from our diet, I've also run across more information on other ways to eat healthier. 

I am a major foodie.  I love a good meal.  And it isn't just about the meal, either.  It is the whole experience.  Lily and Ernie will both tell you that I am rather obsessed with having a sit-down dinner when I cook.  That means the television gets turned off, the table gets cleared and set, I light some candles and play some relaxing music.  We all sit down together and talk about our day while we enjoy good food.  I thought that changing the way we eat would hinder my ability to enjoy the whole food experience as much.  But, to my surprise and utter delight, I've found that it is possible to have meals that are tasty, satisfying, rich, and - most importantly - healthy.

I've never been a terribly unhealthy eater, but I also have never made a concerted effort to eat healthy.  As I said, I always assumed doing so would hinder my food experiences.  But while eating healthier does require more effort, and there is quite a bit of trial and error involved, I've built quite an eclectic recipe collection of really good, healthy and vitamin-packed meals that my family will actually eat.

The trick I've found to getting my daughter to at least try these healthier meals is to make sure everything looks pretty.  She is very visual, and if something looks strange to her, she's less likely to try it.  But if I make it with an eye toward aesthetic presentation, then she'll at the very least try it.  And if I present her with a dish often enough, she usually learns to enjoy it.  In fact, in the five months I've been doing this, she has transformed her eating habits.  Now, more often than not, if she is given something fried or processed or without bright fruits and veggies, she won't eat it.  It is amazing.

I'll go ahead and share a few of my favorite meals with you.  I'll add to this down the road, but for now I'll just give you some recipes that are indicative of a typical day's meals for us.

Breakfast:

Oat Bran Blueberry Muffins (sugar-free)

3/4 c. whole wheat flour

1 c. oat bran
1/3 c. agave syrup
1/2 c. unsweetened applesauce
2 egg whites
1 c. buttermilk
1 1/2 c. blueberries
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. cinnamon

Stir together dry ingredients. Set aside.

In a separate bowl, combine buttermilk, egg whites and applesauce. Add to dry ingredients.  Don't overmix, as your muffins will turn out too dense. Stir in blueberries.

Grease muffin tin and fill the holes about 3/4 full. Bake at 375 degrees for 22 minutes. If you cook them too long, they'll also be too dense, so be careful.

When I make these, I serve them with plain yogurt sweetened with honey, along with some kind of fresh fruit.  Lily likes strawberries and bananas.  She also gets to choose between milk and water.  I used to give her orange juice in the mornings, but my sister told me that a glass of orange juice, even fresh squeezed, is the equivalent of a bag of oranges.  I'd rather just give her an orange.

Lunch:

Pita Sandwiches

1 slice of whole wheat pita bread
1 slice of cheese
1 slice of lean sliced turkey
Sweet baby tomatoes
Lettuce
Alfalfa sprouts
Cucumber slices

Lunches are easy, since I don't have to "cook".   I just make sure I make it fun.  Like for pita sandwiches, I'll put all the makings of the sandwich into a tupperware box and give it to her to assemble herself.  If she made it, she's much more likely to eat it.  If I use a condiment, it is usually greek yogurt.  As long as I slice all the veggies thin and don't overload the sandwich, she loves it.  I would pair this with carrots cutout in the shape of fire and make celery filled with peanut butter and raisins.  I set it all up on a plate, with the celery surrounding the "fire" carrots on top of the sandwich and tell her it is a campfire.

Lily and I are very fond of having picnics for lunch, and I find that making the meal an adventure by eating somewhere other than at home will inspire her to try new things.

Dinner:

Mac & Cheese with Sweet Peppers

8 ounces whole wheat macaroni
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
Cayenne pepper
1/4 cup milk
1 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese
3/4 cup nonfat Greek yogurt
Two sweet peppers

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Grease a 9x9 baking pan.

Cook macaroni according to package directions, drain.

Bring milk and mustard to a simmer in a small saucepan over medium heat, stirring often. Whisk in cheddar until melted. Remove from heat and add yogurt.

Toss the macaroni with the cheese sauce. Add cayenne pepper to taste.  Pour the mixture into the prepared baking dish.
Bake for about ten minutes.  I serve up everyone's portion and put several slices of the sweet peppers on top.  For Lily, I dice her sweet peppers up and mix it in with the mac & cheese.  The first couple of times, she asked what the red things were.  I just told her they were part of the mac & cheese.  She seemed fine with that and ate them.

I'll serve either corn (Lily's favorite) or a parsnip and sweet potato puree with this.  It takes a bit longer, but it is a healthier option than Kraft mac & cheese.  And it doesn't really take THAT long.

For dessert I like to serve fruit kabobs or a "green" smoothie or ice cream.  (recipes can be found here)

For snacks, I give her things like grapes with plain yogurt, sweetened with honey, or carrot and celery sticks with cheese.  I'm not a nazi about it, and I do give her things that aren't necessarily healthy.  Especially if we are traveling or out and about for much of the day.  I try to always pack healthy snacks to take with us, but sometimes, especially when it is just me and Lily traveling or on vacation, it is just too much effort to maintain the healthy eating on-the-go.  And there are days when I just don't have the time or energy to spend on elaborate meals.  But I figure that as long as we are eating this way *most* of the time, I'm doing pretty good.

Dear Sunday,

You are so spendidly full of promise.  You gave me such a wonderful, peaceful day that I can't help thanking you.

I awoke to a beautiful bouquet and card from my thoughtful husband and daughter.

This was followed by a wonderful breakfast in bed, made specially by my daughter with help from her Daddy. I love days that celebrate me.

I did some reading and felt inspired.

My love and I talked about the many things we would like to accomplish.

The bug reminded me why she makes me smile...

...AND she gave me a relaxing spa day, complete with pedicure (and yes, I went out this way).

The day was filled with peace, family, and lots of kisses. What more could a mother ask for?

That was what Sunday brought me and mine.  What splendid delight did this day bring for you?  Happy Sunday, me'lovelies.  And Happy Mothers Day to all the wonderful mothers in my life.

xx

Pity-Party

Sometimes when I look at Lily I am overwhelmed by the knowledge that I am responsible for her.  She is so amazing and has so much potential that I can't help fearing I am going to fail in helping her realize all that amazing potential.  Then I worry that I am pushing her too hard or expecting too much from her.  And I feel as if I am missing some of the enjoyment of motherhood by worrying about my own inadequacies.  I can't be a perfect mother.  I can't.  I constantly have to remind myself to stay calm and patient, even when I have a tired, cranky preschooler who seems to burst into tears for no reason at all.  Sometimes I lose the battle and yell at her, which just makes me feel worse.  Or I forget that she is three-years-old when she tells me she doesn't like me and let my feelings get hurt.  There are days when it is a chore just to get out of the house with her. 

Now, to keep this from being a full-blown pity party, I should mention that there are days when I feel like Super Mom.  I get myself and the bug bathed, fed and out of the house before 9 a.m., I finish all my errands, get some park and/or other quality time in with Lily and get home in time to do laundry and make dinner.  Of course, these days don't seem to come around nearly as often as the days I am swamped with feeling of inadequacy.  On those days I find myself bemoaning my lot, thinking (rather unfairly, I'm sure) "Why is this so much easier for everyone else?"  And on really bad days, I look at the yawning chasm between who I thought I would be and who I've become and think how pathetic it is that so many of my goals have been left unmet.  Instead of being the Yale lawschool grad clerking for a Supreme Court Judge, I am swanning about at home, not really contributing to the world at large (I told you, these were my bad days).

I have never worked harder in my life than I have at motherhood.  I get so tired and stretched to my limits that I feel like a good breeze will shatter me.  And yet, I feel so close to failure at times that I just want to cry.

Then I look at my daughter - at her beautiful, smiling, silly face - and I realize that there truly is no greater contribution I can make in this world than her life.  I've been criticized for fawning over her a bit too much, but I can't help it.  She makes me so proud to be her mother each and every day.  I can't even express how much I love her.   Not many of you know that when I found out I was pregnant with Lily, I bawled like a baby.  I didn't want to be pregnant and I was terrified of being a mother.  Now, three years later, I can't imagine my life without my daughter.

I know I am not a perfect mother and I never will be.  But I also know that all I can do is my best.  There will be days when I won't shower until 10:00 at night (and some days when I won't even manage that much).  There will be days when I feed my daughter Kraft mac & cheese and hot dogs instead of healthy meals with fresh fruits and veggies.  There will be days when I lose my patience with Lily and there will be days (lots of days, it seems) when I don't finish the laundry or the dishes.  But as long as my daughter knows, unequivocally and unconditionally, that I love her, then I'm going to count those days as successes.  Because, you know what?  No one manages stress and responsibility as well as a mother.  And yet, mothers are judged and critiqued so harshly by many people, including themselves.  I've realized that I can't expect my work and achievements as a mother to be recognized by others if I don't recognize them myself.