Adventures in homeschooling

I have returned to my long-neglected blog because I have felt compelled recently to chronicle my and Lily's experiences with homeschooling.  So bear with me as I post what, to some, will be quite a boring blog post.

Why did I decide to homeschool?

This seems to be the second-most often asked question when people find out Lily is homeschooled (I will get to the most often asked question in a moment).  I answer honestly.  My original motivation was that Lily would miss the cutoff to start kindergarten by less than two weeks.  The cutoff date in my district is very strictly adhered to.  No exceptions.  Now, at the risk of sounding like one of those annoying parents who thinks their is perfect (although, anyone who has met her knows Lily *is* perfect ;)), I absolutely believed (and still believe) that Lily was ready to start kindergarten this year.  Academically, definitely, but in other aspects as well.  Socially, she would have been on par with her other kids in her class.  Her maturity level is high, no doubt due to the fact that she is an only child and mainly associates with adults.  And she has an uncanny ability to concentrate for hours on a task.  The list goes on.  But no amount of explaining made a difference to the school district.  They did not make exceptions.  She had to wait until next year.  So, being the contrary person that I am, I decided to homeschool her for kindergarten and allow her to sort of "test in" to 1st grade next year.

There you have it.  Not the best reason to decide to homeschool, but it is my reason.  Which is a nice segue into the most often asked question I get when people find out I am homeschooling Lily:

When are you going to put her in real school?

I get this question so often, with varying levels of rudeness, that it makes me want to scream.  I get it, I do.  At the beginning of the year I would have laughed and answered that she would be put in real school next year, showing how cleverly I have bypassed the school district and their silly rules.  Now, however, I feel very differently. 

At the start of the year, I had it all planned.  I knew exactly how I was going to structure our days.  And believe you me, there would be structure.  *My* daughter was not going to fall behind.  I had a minimum of four hours scheduled academics each day.  And I stuck by it.  For about three months, I stuck by it.  Then I started noticing something.  Lily, who had always had a love of and enthusiasm for learning, was beginning to dislike school.  I mean, *really* dislike it.  So I made what turned out to be the best decision for both of us.  I took a month off school.  I took a month to let Lily relax and recapture her joy of learning.  And I took a month to read.  I read everything I could get my hands on regarding to homeschooling.  And I talked to Lily.  I realized during this month that I had been structuring our homeschool to mirror a public school classroom because that is how I thought it should be done.  But when I talked to Lily about it, I realized how oppressive what I was doing was to her natural inquisitiveness.  In my fear of doing something that would limit or even damage her abilities once she did enter "real" school, I had actually been damaging something much more precious.  It was during this month that my entire mindset on homeschooling changed.

At the end of our one-month hiatus, we were starting with an entirely new approach to homeschooling.  I suppose you could call it "unschooling", though I think that is such a misunderstood phrase that I am reluctant to label us with it.  However, for purposes of explanation it will have to do.  We start off almost everyday with a nature walk (weather permitting).  Each week we pick a topic together that Lily wants to learn more about and we go to the library and find as many books as we can on the subject.  Then we spend the entire week reading about them.  I let her pick out a movie or two on the subject if it is available and we watch them together (a treat for her, since I banned television...but that is for another post).  I read a lot to her.  We still have "academics"...sort of.  We spend time each day snuggled on our big comfy chair in our living room and talk about things, like telling time and counting and addition and subtraction.  There's no pressure behind it and I don't stress if she isn't "getting it".  The biggest difference is how much we talk.  We talk about everything.  The atmosphere changed from teacher (me) lecturing student (her) to us being a team in ensuring she gets the most enriching education possible.  Lily knows that there is no topic that is off-limits and there is no confusing concept that I won't at least attempt to explain.  And if I don't know the answer, we find it together.

I have seen a huge difference in my daughter from the beginning of our school year to now.  She sees everything as a learning opportunity and questions everything and everyone.  At times, I am certain there are adults who interact with her who find this aspect of her personality trying.  But I love it.  I love that she won't take someone's word for it just because they are an adult.  If someone answers her question with "because", she will tell them, "because isn't an answer."  Impertinent?  Most definitely.  But I believe that fostering this aspect of her personality will best aid her in her lifelong education.  She is learning to think and discovery for herself and, I hope, she will never allow another person to do her thinking for her.

Now I look at homeschooling Lily in the long term.  There is no cutoff date (although I may, eventually, put her in a public or private school if that is what becomes best for her).  She learns at her own pace and in her own way.  Yes, I am there to help her and to explain difficult concepts to her.  But her education, as it is, is largely guided by her.  And surprisingly, she is doing exceptionally well.  I don't have to use flashcards with her and give her spelling tests in order for her to learn how to read.  She is learning all on her own.  I don't have to do math drills with her.  She is constantly working on her figures (if you look at her artwork, most of it will have some sort of simple math problem).  She writes labels on everything.  Not because I spent grueling hours forcing her to learn sight words, but because she wants to be able to express herself through the written language.  I worried when we started this that she would lag behind her public school contemporaries, but I realized that her education isn't a competition between her and anyone else.  As long as she is being challenged and engaged in her education, then she is right where she needs to be. 

I wish I could go back to the beginning of this adventure and tell myself to just take a deep breath and *look* at my daughter.  To realize that I was doing this for her, not to make some sort of silly point about public school.  My focus needed to be on her and what was best for her.  But I can't go back; I can only press onward and hope the instances where I get it right outweigh those where I get it so terribly wrong.