Asking questions makes kids strong thinkers. I get it. Truly, I do. I've read books on child psychology that say if you dont answer the endless questions your preschooler asks (or at least attempt to) then they will be socially awkward and afraid to ask questions once they start school. But I can't help thinking there is such a thing as too many questions.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Lily's inquisitive mind. I have no problem answering her questions. Usually. But it is the unusual situations that I have trouble with.
What makes a situation unusual, you ask? Well, imagine a little something like this:
Setting: Lily is watching Fern Gully while I unload the dishwasher and make lunch.
Lily: Mommy, why is that man eating cake?
Me: Because he likes how it tastes.
Lily: Why does he like how it tastes?
Me: Because the ingredients are all mixed together to make it taste yummy.
Lily: Why does it need ingredients?
Me: Because without ingredients, it wouldn't be cake. It would just be air.
Lily: But why would it just be air?
Me: Because there would be nothing in it to make it cake.
Lily: But why can't you make cake out of air?
Me: Because there is only oxygen in the air and you need flour and eggs and sugar and all sorts of things to make cake.
Lily: But why?
Me: Because you can't change air into a different substance.
Lily: Why not?
Me: Because it is against the law of physics.
Lily: But why?
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Lily's inquisitive mind. I have no problem answering her questions. Usually. But it is the unusual situations that I have trouble with.
What makes a situation unusual, you ask? Well, imagine a little something like this:
Setting: Lily is watching Fern Gully while I unload the dishwasher and make lunch.
Lily: Mommy, why is that man eating cake?
Me: Because he likes how it tastes.
Lily: Why does he like how it tastes?
Me: Because the ingredients are all mixed together to make it taste yummy.
Lily: Why does it need ingredients?
Me: Because without ingredients, it wouldn't be cake. It would just be air.
Lily: But why would it just be air?
Me: Because there would be nothing in it to make it cake.
Lily: But why can't you make cake out of air?
Me: Because there is only oxygen in the air and you need flour and eggs and sugar and all sorts of things to make cake.
Lily: But why?
Me: Because you can't change air into a different substance.
Lily: Why not?
Me: Because it is against the law of physics.
Lily: But why?
Finally, I gave up and just told her it was the way things were, which is really just a variation of the dreaded and oft maligned "Because I said so." This happens to me several times a day. I try to be patient, but I feel like I'm answering the "But why?" questions All.Day.Long and sometimes my supply runs dry. Does that make me a bad mother? Am I hindering my daughter's inquisitiveness and ability to be a critical thinker? Probably. But somehow, I'm okay with that.
I console myself with something I heard about ignorance being when you answer every question that is asked of you. I doubt very much this bit of advice was intended in relation to a three-year-old, but I'll use it regardless. I still have guilt, but it is diminished by my new mantra.
I console myself with something I heard about ignorance being when you answer every question that is asked of you. I doubt very much this bit of advice was intended in relation to a three-year-old, but I'll use it regardless. I still have guilt, but it is diminished by my new mantra.
Now that I've revealed my bad mommy moment for all and sundry, I'll leave you with this happy moment. Beautiful, yes? Not only does she have a great voice, but I love that video. Between Carmen Consoli and Joanna Newsom, my playlist is full of music that just makes me happy.
2 comments:
I definitely don't think this knocks you down to bad mom status. I try really hard to answer all Clara's questions, but somedays that's easier than others. Sometimes, when I'm not only impatient but also snippity, I'll ask Clara, "Why do you think..." and return the question.
PS Awesome picture.
lol. I was totally going to sugguest turning the tables on Lily too! I do that to Shelby. Sometimes I feel like she is looking for a specific answer (that she already knows) and I am just trying to guess the "right" answer! If she answers her own question we can move on! Good luck!
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